


Hindrance

by LadyLattice



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:50:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLattice/pseuds/LadyLattice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akira finds himself enthralled with a bizarre man called Nano, and their interaction causes them both to reinterpret the way they see the world around them and the people in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Initial Hindrance

**Author's Note:**

> Select quotations are directly from the game or are accredited to Leo Tolstoy's 'War and Peace', 1869.
> 
> So I followed a slightly altered version of Nano's route from here on out, more or less meaning that I'm going to speed things up a bit. Still, don't worry! I will change things up in the standard Meadie way, so naturally Shiki will be making an appearance in all of his psycho, badass glory. But I'm not going to tell you what's going to happen! I'm going to allude to some events that occurred towards the end of Nano's route, but I won't be describing them in detail. If you'd like to see the complete end of Nano's route, cdstrong09 has the entire thing posted on YouTube. The things I'll be referencing are mostly explanations of the plot and personal histories, and they mainly occur in Parts 22-33. Enjoy!
> 
> Meadie out.

Though I had been able to easily disarm and disable all seven members of the gang that had come after me, cooing and taunting me ceaselessly as if I was some cat that would come if they called, I was still worn out. Conveniently, my endurance held out until the last one hit the ground, but if any others came sauntering around the corner and into this alley, I would probably be fucked, the last of my strength failing as soon as I took a combative stance. I attempted to brush my hair away from my face, but a slight sheen of sweat held my bangs against my damp forehead persistently, and I eventually decided that I didn't care, even though the sensation of the flyaway strands against my skin was subtly irritating. The most important matter was for me to locate Keisuke and find a way out of this miserable place, but now I didn't have the energy to continue and needed to rest. 

If I was too worn when I found him and he needed help, there would be no way for me to rescue him, and my self-imposed mission would have been unsuccessful; I would have failed Keisuke, I would have allowed him to be stolen away from me without ever knowing the truth about our fracturing relationship and what he truly meant to me. He would die in ignorance, resenting me until the life fled his body. That could not be permitted to happen, and so I needed to recover my strength.

Toshima was viciously tough on the body and the mind; and the exhaustion of one compounded the strain on the other. Since I'd been tossed into Igura to fulfill my mission and clear my wrongly-soiled name, my body had been growing weary more quickly during fights, and even when I was not fighting at all. While I was un-phased by surprise assaults due to my association with Bl ster, I was not permitted to operate in my typical indifferent way here in Toshima if I desired to survive. Here, people were permitted to kill you during an attack, and a large number of them reveled in the thrill of having permission to steal away a life so flippantly. That knowledge felt weighty as it sat brooding in the back of my mind, and its presence was sapping away my physical strength as well as the functionality of my thoughts. The pressure of this grim insight on my consciousness caused my body to grow increasingly lethargic, but then this weakness would result in more frantic acknowledgement of that singular haunting truth, and even further consideration of the idea drained my physical strength yet again. Survival in Toshima was difficult enough, and the ouroboros of one's existence here would forever remain looped upon itself; a vile cycle of fear, exhaustion, and doubt that revolved with unsettling permanence.

I was consumed entirely with the desire to find a place where I could rest in relative safety as I stumbled slightly from the alleyway and into the street, the compulsion to sleep increased dramatically when raindrops began to fall from the sky, which seemed to be irreversibly dyed with a sickly green-grey hue. Easy breezes lurched smoothly between the crumbling buildings that lined the Toshima streets, and if I allowed myself to close my eyes, I could nearly imagine myself somewhere else, maybe somewhere tinted in a healthy, natural green. And if I strained the illusion a bit more, maybe I could convince my mind that the eerie echo of the wind as it squeezed between confining structures was rather the rustle of leaves as the wind kissed each one gently, sweeping listlessly through trees. While it would be pleasant to revel in such fantasies, I had no time or energy to spare on such thoughts, regardless of how tempting they might be. Though the sky was always vaguely dusky in Toshima, I could tell that the blackness of night was beginning to stain the dreary world with an even more potent form of darkness, suffocating the day like a candle deprived of oxygen. Remaining here, exhausted and in plain view, was akin to writing my own obituary, and so I urged my reluctant muscles to obey and temporarily retreat to safety.

Several blocks to the east, I slipped into a large, stately building as the rain began to grow more aggressive and persistent, and found myself in the foyer of a library. The place was massive and extremely quiet, but the silence did not feel unnerving or oppressive as it should; rather, the silence was pleasant and dignified, as if the knowledge encased in the thousands of dusty tomes that resided here was seeping into the atmosphere, graciously offering me the wisdom of the world. I walked among the imposing stacks of precisely ordered books, trailing my fingers over spines that desperately wished to creak open and spill out the secrets that were tattooed on the yellowing pages. Each volume was distinctly different; the colors, bindings, fonts, providing an assault on the senses. Some spoke of topics that I had never known, and others professed wondrous musings in languages that I could not read; but that was of little importance, as the rhythmic arrangements of phrases on carefully lineated pages were remarkably soothing in their redundancy.

Stopping abruptly, my gaze fell upon an exceptionally thick volume, the stiff cover bound in a deep purple canvas and emblazoned with the title _War and Peace_ in gold lettering. Pulling the book free from its confines, I turned in my hands several times before settling into a richly colored leather chair and clicking the switch of the lamp on the small side table adjacent to my seat until its bulb flickered to life. Satisfied, I reassessed the book with mild interest, watching the gold lettering on the cover dance in a fickle tango of shadow and light as I tilted it in my hands, the texture of the binding pleasant beneath my fingertips. Those words, _war_ and _peace_ , were all too familiar to me, and instantly summoned thoughts of discord and fear, of crippling uncertainty and solitude; the concepts represented by these words were destined to remain contradictory for eternity. Yet as they were here, stamped elegantly onto the cover of such a stately volume, those words seemed as if they were destined to be placed so closely to each other.

"'We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom.'"

A low, monotone voice broke the silence of the space, startling me and causing my hand to fly to the handle of the dagger strapped to my lower back, the tips of my fingers lightly touching the worn grip in anticipation. The darkness between two bookcases begin to shift and stir, growing ominously as the limited illumination from the lamp caused every shadow in the room to stretch into grotesque and unidentifiable shapes, like eerie beasts of the night. After a few moments, the source of the words appeared soundlessly, stepping nearer with measured strides and suspiciously absent footfalls before halting, mere meters of space buffering our proximity. He was tall and remarkably thin, with skin so hauntingly pale and free of blemishes that he could have easily been crafted from porcelain; and he seemed equally as frail. Gazing at me with unsettling pale eyes that seemed to shift indecisively from blue to violet, his stare and expression were both oddly vacant, as if he was looking through me rather than at me. Light hair framed his disconcertingly handsome face, accenting the angular and vaguely feminine features that were cast in violent contrast by the reading lamp's feeble effort to provide illumination.

"Leo Tolstoy, _War and Peace_ ," he stated flatly, slightly lowering his vacant gaze to the volume that was sitting in my lap, the pages falling haphazardly open to a random stretch of narrative which would have been entirely irrelevant if read out of context. The man's deep voice would have been exceptionally alluring if stripped free of its slightly clinical tone; but when it was accompanied by his appearance and smothering, expressionless eyes, his voice became equally as unnerving. The overwhelming sensation of his presence in the limited space was painfully suffocating, and struck me with a slight muddled dizziness, much like the high received when painting a room with the windows shut.

He began to approach me again and I felt as if I wanted to stumble away desperately, fearing being crushed by his devastating severity; if the aura that surrounded him suddenly decided to manifest and take physical form, it would easily fall upon me with the weight of a mountain.

"Who are you?" I spat, attempting to conceal my uneasiness with feigned aggression. "Where did you come from?"

Judging by the way in which his expression remained so intensely stoic as he continued to casually walk toward the place where I was seated, I could almost argue that he had not heard me; yet for some reason, I was convinced that he had, but chose instead to ignore my inquisition, causing my glare to intensify fiercely. When he was scarcely a step away, he raised his hand and moved to place his finger tips on the skin of my cheek, causing me to recoil dramatically and reach to swat his digits away from my face. But before I could repel him, the sensation of frigid fingers against my flesh made my entire body tense as if being electrocuted, and instead I lightly placed my own touch cautiously on the back of his slightly emaciated hand and pressed his palm against my own cheek. This man's touch was intoxicating while simultaneously dreadfully overwhelming, as if I could feel surges of raging emotion transferring from his being into mine through each point of contact between our skins. I was suffering painfully from the unrest in my mind, concordantly desiring to surrender to the sensation of his hand on my cheek and to whither at the mental overstimulation. We sighed softly in unison, as if we both had been waiting patiently for my response to his touch.

"What's your name?" I asked breathlessly, damning myself for the lewdness of my tone.

He studied me vacantly for a few moments, and despite the cold, clinical expression that he wore, my body seemed to squirm and heat dramatically as I remained locked beneath his scrutiny. His eyes momentarily adopted the violet tint which I had noticed before, but the eerie shift vanished as quickly as it appeared, the irises returning to a pale, steely blue that very easily mirrored my own. After seconds that felt like hours, he replied in his deep monotone. "I'm called Nano."

"Nano?"

"Yes."

"I'm Akira, Nano," I informed, furrowing my brows deeply when his hand slipped from my face, falling limply to his side. After considering his actions for a moment, I came to the conclusion that this man was exceptionally odd in all aspects, and determined that his withdrawal was in no way a rejection or insult. "Do you like books?" Nano barely hummed in acknowledgement of my question, his blank stare persistently assessing my demeanor, or so I believed; his eyes were so vacant that it was a distinct possibility that he wasn't looking at me at all. He made me uneasy and his behavior was strange; but this entire situation seemed hauntingly familiar, and that minute sense of familiarity that we shared erased whatever creeping fear and doubt had begun to knot in my stomach. Whatever mal-intent he had was easily smothered out by the sheer celestial intensity of his presence, and he appeared so angelic in his otherworldly elegance that it seemed natural that he be exalted. Yet there was a dim sensation nagging at my cognizance which was seeking to warn me of some sort of unintentional deception, suggesting that Nano's god-like appearance was merely a side effect of some misfortune. I mused that his heavenly countenance deceived others through no intentional action on his part, and served to distract them from an unsettling truth that resonated just below the surface, regardless of whether he cared to conceal it or not.

He leaned down wordlessly and grasped the open book from my lap, but I tensed violently and clutched his wrist when the heavy volume grazed the pooling arousal in my groin through the rough cloth of my jeans. My grip on him was severe as I attempted to compose myself, but he made no movement or reply, merely sitting in frozen silence with the same unsettling stoicism on his face. At such a close distance, the look of emptiness in his eyes was even more prominent, and it gave me the sensation of being stranded when I realized that the only thing visible in his gaze was my own warped reflection. They were devoid of emotion, perhaps even devoid of humanity, as if he was a living doll, a mere vacant body that remarkably continued to move without the guidance of its long-departed soul. His eyes made me feel like I was drowning, and he was watching with indifference at the side of the lake while I struggled for air and fought for survival.

But still, the pleasantly crushing power of his touch drew me in further, making me crave the contact more deeply, more _intimately_ , than the tender grazes and tremulous caresses that we'd exchanged thus far. Maintaining my hold on his hand, I carefully tugged the purple tome from between his slender fingers, his empty eyes following my movements as I shut the book and placed it gently on the side table out of his reach. Returning my attention to the enigma of a man before me, I attempted to reason with my mind, developing some compelling argument as to why I should stand up and leave the library immediately, but my desire was becoming a bit too persistent to counter with common sense. This was right. I was supposed to be doing this. Yet I hadn't come to any conclusion regarding _why_ I should be doing it.

"Everything is predestined."

As if he could read my mind, Nano interrupted my conflicting thoughts, seemingly confirming the impulses harbored within my instincts and subconscious, the urges that I had been attempting to smother violently with reason. Finally succumbing to desire, I took his icy hand in mine, cupping them lightly over the rising tautness that was pulling painfully across the front of my jeans. When Nano stroked me of his own accord, I shuddered aggressively, making no attempt to conceal my pitiful groan as I eagerly bucked my hips against his palm, which was still firmly pinned between my arousal and my hand. My reservation was beginning to wilt noticeably, but I disregarded it entirely, deciding that it was an ugly, weak flower that would crumble and die soon enough; though its demise may have been expedited by the eagerness of the ghostly man who was now ridding us both of our clothes.

He was wild and desperate in his erotic assault, lips and teeth roughly claiming my shoulders and neck, leaving each patch of my tasted skin bloodied or bruised in some way before seeking out yet another unmarred swatch of flesh to brand. When my back ended up colliding violently with a large, solid bookshelf, I began to panic, writhing at every touch as I struggled against him in what was an entirely useless attempt at resistance. I had encouraged him to take me initially, but his aggressiveness was making me uneasy, and the strength that his frail body concealed was so immense that he could prevent me from moving a muscle if he so desired.

Nano entered me roughly and without preparation, causing me to cry out as painful sobs wracked my frame, any remaining hope for resistance washing away with my tears and failing strength. Small splinters snuck beneath my nails as my fingers curled tightly against one of the shelves above my head, a weak attempt to support myself and avoid the residual searing heat that resonated following each icy touch. Though my body was aching, I didn't think that Nano was attempting to be so aggressive as to cause me hurt or embarrassment, it seemed more likely that he was so desperate to maintain this contact with between our bodies that he wasn't sure how else to preserve the sensation. The pulsing flow of emotions that seeped into my being through his skin oddly managed to dull my physical pain, but the devastating pain of despair was equally as potent, and even more unnerving.

"Nano, please stop this… you're being too rough, why are you doing this? Please, enough…." I pled miserably, using every shred of my composure that remained to prevent my tears from flowing openly down my cheeks, staining their paths with salt.

He continued to thrust into my heat wildly, though it seemed as if he was attempting to oblige with my requests, as each of his movements became slightly more focused and deliberate. Soon the fingers of a delicate hand curled around my own failing arousal, touching the sensitive skin with surprising gentleness and causing my entire frame to tremble as I was wracked with wary pleasure. My breaths were becoming exceptionally difficult to manage as my pain started to fade more rapidly, and I allowed my arms to cautiously wind around his neck as I buried my face into his mess of golden hair, inhaling his scent with a moan. Nano smelled like pure earth, as if he himself was so thoroughly composed of raw elements that he could've been born from the womb of nature herself; but he simultaneously felt quite inhuman, as if manufactured according to specific parameters that left him feeling rigid. It seemed as if his origins were as mysterious as the rest of his being, the enigmatic sensation borne from his existence frightening and enthralling me concordantly, tearing me in half like frayed cloth all the way down to the dense canvas of my core and consciousness. This man was exceptionally dangerous, and I could sense that quality deep in my marrow, but he did not seem violent, and that miniscule sliver of redemptive light allowed me to cling to him without fear.

One especially enthusiastic thrust impacted the knot of fibers within me, and I cried out shamelessly, clutching his shoulders desperately as I attempted to regain control of myself, though the task seemed as difficult as retaining smoke with your bare hand. Crashing our lips together, I moved mine against his frantically, and soon they began to meld together flawlessly as our tongues coiled around each other, the fleeting tastes causing our greediness to intensify. Every tinge of residual pain from his ministrations served not to hinder my ecstasy, but rather to charge it more intensely, dissolving my composure more rapidly with each efficient jerk of his hips. We were both growing nearer our climaxes; I could feel Nano quake slightly as his breaths became more ragged and irregular, his lean frame seeming fragile as I closed my legs more securely around his waist and coaxed free unified moans from our lips. Our pants sounded desperate as they echoed through the space, our minds too preoccupied with the impending high of orgasm to do anything aside from thrust and grind against each other with animalistic urgency. Even our kisses grew still in our distraction, unintentionally pressing together as we heaved and moaned, the vibrations caused by our sounds of pleasure teasing lightly on my lips and tingling pleasantly. I pulled away slightly as I was bathed in my release, and bit roughly into Nano's icy shoulder with a groan, remarkably surprised when the temperature of the skin between my teeth rose affectedly to warm my lips.

"Akira…."

My name being spoken in Nano's lust-drenched voice caused my eyes to fly open, the remaining fringes of my fulfillment intensifying violently under the erotic sound. In truth, he could have said anything in that sinful tone, even threatened my life, and it still would have held the power to make my mind melt with eager arousal.

The celestial man who had me pinned against a bookshelf was nearing his climax as well, each of his thrusts forcing me further into the constricting hold of his arms while each of his movements inside of me elicited a small moaning gasp, my sensitivity becoming unbearable. Soon his breath hitched dramatically as he was assaulted with his own orgasm, his movements halting as he buried himself as deeply into me as he could manage, strong yet slender arms clinging to me and holding me in place. My body felt conflicted, but the pleasurable warmth that Nano settled within me was able to mildly overwhelm the pain that was threatening to throb back into my consciousness with a vengeance. I could feel my eyelids sinking shut heavily as my mind attempting to coax me into a restorative sleep, my ailing body even further exhausted than before our union, and with the pain that clouded my senses, rest sounded like an appealing escape. Supporting my weight carefully, my partner pulled himself free from me, the miniscule movement causing me to cry out loudly in tortured, painful sobs, my fatigue far too potent for my logical mind to suppress the tears that were beginning to roll down my face.

Nano laid my aching body on the plush couch opposite of my seat from before, the chill of the sofa's leather causing me to recoil lightly when it pressed against my naked flesh. Once I was permitted to stay motionless in avoidance of any further pain, I was able to take a survey of the condition of the rest of my body as I struggled to stave off sleep for a few moments longer. Bruises and slight lacerations covered my neck and chest densely, the culmination of all of their individual aches compounding into a broad aura of discomfort that hovered persistently over the area in an unpleasant fog. Though it was expected for my muscles and tendons to wail in pain at the strain and overexertion that they had endured, the worst sensation to plague my mind was the unsettling feeling of my own blood trickling down my thighs, the warmth of the liquid perishing as it was berated by the library's cold air.

"Why did you…. Why did you do this? You… were so rough. Nano?"

His vacant eyes were latched on me intently as I fumbled through my pain and increasingly muddled mind to beg for some explanation, and though I could scarcely hear the tone of my own voice through my failing consciousness, I was certain that I had sounded pitiful and weak beyond measure. The emptiness of the gaze that met mine in response caused me to shudder with uneasiness. Nano seemed so hollow that it was immensely difficult to meet his stare, knowing that he seemed to be merely an example of biological life, a functioning organism without any soul.

"'If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.' Leo Tolstoy, _War and Peace._ "

I stared at him blankly for several moments, attempting to process his words despite my slight delirium. "I don't understand…. What are you trying to tell me? I don't understand…. Nano?" For a brief instant, I thought I could see some flicker of emotion as his pale blue gaze quickly flared into the brilliant violet from before, and I mentally clung to the thought as I began to lose the battle against my exhaustion, slipping into sleep.


	2. Medial Hindrance

Attempting to force my eyes open seemed to require such an impossible amount of effort that it seemed more logical to keep them shut, especially considering that my entire reason for stumbling into the library was to recover my strength. But since my arrival, and even more so upon the appearance of the peculiar man called Nano, the barrage on my senses had been overwhelming and exhausting in itself; the smell of old pages, the sounds of rain and the union of Nano and myself, the residual ache from his ministrations and the burn of a cold leather couch on my nearly-naked skin. A slight drone of crisply spoken words piqued my interest, so I reluctantly pried open my eyelids to determine the source of the lulling noise, to find that a light haired man had occupied the large chair across from the couch where I lay and was reading aloud from the thick volume that I had taken from a shelf the night before. The consistent monotony of his tone was soothing and extremely effective in convincing my weakened body that it should allow his voice to guide me back into sleep, but there were far too many questions that I felt he was obligated to answer.

"Nano?"

The stream of elegant prose that he had been spouting relentlessly faded abruptly into the all-encompassing silence of the room, the slightly eerie quiet swallowing them as they echoed between towering bookshelves. Nano shifted his eyes from the page to me, the emptiness of that gaze remaining as hauntingly awkward as I had perceived it to be the night before, and it prompted me to avert my stare shamefully, scarcely lessening the intensity of the prison of uneasiness in which his scrutiny kept me bound. Sitting up despite the pain that seemingly had soaked into my very cells, I attempted to compose myself before confronting him.

"We've met before, haven't we? Just like in my dreams, except it wasn't a dream. It was real. A long time ago, at the orphanage." Nano contemplated my statement for several moments, the same brilliant purple hue flickering in his distant eyes when he nodded once, the gesture curt and resolute.

"It has been long determined that we would reunite in this way, that we would each share our bodies with the other. Therefore, Akira, your previous question of 'why' is entirely irrelevant, as I have no response with which to console you. My actions have merely abided by the script of fate, and were not a result of free will."

Scoffing and turning my cheek to him with irritation, I attempted to ignore the sensation of his empty gaze as it remained locked firmly on the side of my face, making the temperature of my body rise uncomfortably and a slight blush to tint my cheeks. "You're wrong."

Nano made no attempt to respond or counter my accusation, and simply continued to sit in silence, his consistent expression of indifference providing me with no insight as to his opinion of my statement. At last he lowered his gaze, shutting the tome in his hands gently, trailing his fingers so tenderly over the golden words embossed there that I was unsure if he was touching them at all. I found myself wishing dearly that he had touched my skin so softly, his lips and hands pleasantly ghosting over my flesh like feathers or silk, rather than leaving me bruised and sore. Sitting before him in naught but my boxers, I felt painfully exposed as his eyes assessed me closely, studying each undulation of my muscles and each alteration in the tone of my skin. My hand instinctively covered the largest contusion that he had given me, and some slight emotion flashed in his gaze when he focused on the massive splotch of a sickly green and purple bruise situated at the base of my throat, along my collar. I sucked in a surprised gasp when he appeared just before me, crossing the space between us so swiftly that I had scarcely noticed him move. Kneeling beside the leather couch silently, he raised his hand to my cheek without a word, causing my body to tense and eyes to wrench closed in fearful anticipation; but in anticipation of what I was unsure.

The electricity that coursed through my being when he brushed his tongue over the abused flesh of my neck caused me to shudder uncontrollably, my blunt nails curling tightly into the leather of the couch and leaving behind angry suede scratches. I grasped his shoulders when the fingers of his slender hands began to roam across the pale expanse of my back, pulling me closer to him while his surprisingly strong digits kneaded into my muscles and traced the ridges of my spine.

"Ugh, Nano. What are you doing? Nano….?"

My words of interrogation were drowned by needy groans and pants when he lifted me gingerly from the couch and into his lap, the thin cotton of my boxers doing nothing to protect me as his hips ground against mine slowly, yet forcefully. Nano carefully pried my hands free from his shoulders, kissing each fingertip remorsefully in silent apology, attempting to soothe the splinters and dried blood caked beneath my nails from the night before. I wove my fingers into his light hair as he released them, tugging him against my body desperately as I ground my hips against his lap, placing heavy kisses on his temple and cheek, down to the corners of his lips. When his hands slid down my back and beneath the elastic of my boxers, rubbing circle into my hips and sliding lower, I couldn't help but flinch and tense noticeably, the dull pain that remained from his ministrations the night before flaring to life. As a single lithe finger slid lower and teased lightly at my entrance, I cried out not of my own accord, clenching my eyes shut tightly as trembling panting breaths escaped my lips and brushed over the pale skin of his throat, coaxing a light flush to the surface.

"Nano, stop! Please!"

Nano froze immediately, retracting his hands gingerly, as if even the act of releasing me from his grasp had the potential to cause me harm. "Akira…."

My breaths were heaving as I attempted to compose myself, struggling to suppress the anxious vibrato that betrayed the fear in my voice, every word rattling with poorly concealed distress. "I'm okay," I muttered, unsure of my own declaration as I pressed heavy kisses against his throat, "It's alright; I didn't mean to startle you, Nano. But I need to go now, I have to find my friend. I'll come back here, though. Okay?"

He nodded silently as I rose from his lap, his vacant stare following me intently as I gathered my clothes and re-dressed myself, attempting to conceal my subtle flinches of pain as I moved about, turning my back to him as I left. Why was it so difficult to walk away from him, from the man who held this mysterious ability to pull me in and recoil at the same time? Nano felt so familiar, comforting, safe, and I couldn't easily define why; and though I should have been repulsed by the way he treated me the night before, I rather found myself more inclined to be by his side. The disparity was immensely irritating, but it was not unpleasant despite the confusion and awkwardness that I felt when I stared into those icy, vacant eyes, seeing nothing there but the reflection of my own pale gaze. Who was he in truth? I was desperate to know, but the answer concordantly terrified me, and the uncertainty bordered on painful.

Shaking away the perplexing musings, I busted through the heavy oak doors of the library and into the surprisingly chilly air outside, jogging down the steps and through the street, arbitrarily taking a left and heading east with the sun at my back. The afternoon shadows stretched tall and warped before me, and I realized that I had managed to sleep for the duration of the day, and was grateful that Nano had not woken me. The fogginess of impending dusk made the alleys and empty storefronts of Toshima even more unsettling, the blurriness of the atmosphere leaving the mind to wonder if the ruined buildings appeared more or less decrepit than in reality. Though the uneasiness that began to taunt the slight vacancy of my thoughts felt mildly like the sensation of being watched that always accompanied my movements in this place, something felt different now, more intense and malicious. "Keisuke?" I called out, my tongue forming the name that had begun to flood the instinctual fringes of my consciousness.

"Hello, Akira," a vaguely familiar voice replied from the shadows, though the tone of the words seemed so commanding and taunting that it made me shiver. It was certainly Keisuke, but my stomach churned at the acknowledgement of his presence, the aura he emitted surging malignantly with hatred and the gleeful desire to kill, to rain pain and ruin down on my very existence. This was not the Keisuke that I knew and cared for so deeply. This definitely was someone, or _something_ , else.

"Keisuke," I replied, attempting to smother the anxiety in my voice, "I've been looking for you all over, and I'm glad that I found you before something bad happened."

"Something bad?" he chuckled lowly, "Nothing bad could possibly happen to me. I'm strong now, just like you always wished I would be. I've been testing out my power, and it's wonderful; I'll even be able to kill you easily, _Lost._ That is what I truly want, anyway. I hate you, all of your disregard of the love that I've tried to give you over the years has cultivated my resentment very nicely. Truthfully, I need to thank you for everything. If I hadn't decided to become strong in order to destroy you, I'd still be a miserable wretch clinging to your heels and wallowing in your shadow, begging for acknowledgement."

"Keisuke…." I responded weakly, attempting to swallow and relieve the dryness in my tightening throat. His loud cackle startled me, the gleeful madness in his eyes fading with his laughter, replaced by something much more dangerous, a glint in his gaze that made me recoil as I was pinned in place by the fear inspired from his hateful, murderous scowl. "Keisuke, why are you doing this? I'm not good with emotions and this is hard for me to say, but I wanted to find you and tell you how important you are to me. I want us to leave Toshima together, and I can't kill Il-Re without you by my side. So please, come back to me. I need you to fight the Line and come back. I need my Keisuke back."

His expression conveyed his rising distrust and loathing as he glared at me aggressively, walking towards me with slow, measured steps. "Do you think that regretful words will make me stop hating you, Akira? You think that the sweet lies you tell me out of fear will make me change my mind about killing you and enjoying it? Damn, the thought of watching you struggle beneath me in pain is making me hard, Akira; that pretty face of yours twisting and crying out for salvation that will never come. I want to fuck you so bad. And I think that I will."

Suddenly he was before me, moving with the same speed that Nano had earlier that day, grasping my throat violently and slamming my body against the asphalt beneath our feet, scarcely giving me time to fumble for the knife at my lower back. "Shit, Keisuke," I attempted to retort angrily, but my voice was nothing more than a strangled wheeze, dissolving pitifully as soon as the words touched the air.

He hummed contentedly as he ground his himself roughly down on my hips, and I winced at the sensation of his hardness as it strained against the cloth that was tightening across his groin. I was struggling to suppress my whimpers and fight back desperately for my freedom, but the toxic artificial adrenaline of Line surged wildly through his veins, granting him strength that allowed him to keep me easily pinned in place, my body at his disposal.

"Keisuke, stop this, please. Come back to me."

Keisuke laughed openly at my pleas, the unpleasant, damp heat of his breaths against my throat made me shiver involuntarily, his lips laying heavily on my jugular as he savored the fearful pounding of my pulse beneath the skin there. His warmth pressed along my body may have been arousing under other circumstances, but this was not the Keisuke I knew; this stranger was violent, crazed, nothing even reminiscent of the gentle man with doting honey-colored eyes who had been my companion for so many years. The Keisuke that I had grown to care for so dearly could never have inspired such abysmal uneasiness like the feeling that was now churning in my gut and gnawing relentlessly at my heart, a heart which had just been exposed after such lengthy concealment. I wanted to cry, but I did my utmost to blink away each droplet that threatened to break free from the corners of my eyes, though my situation warranted my tears.

"You smell so good, Akira," he mumbled against my flesh as he inhaled deeply, trailing his tongue over the florid bruises that were undoubtedly blooming beneath his grip on my jugular. "But you taste even better."

I bit my cheek roughly as I attempted to maintain my silence, the metallic flavor of blood rolling hotly down my throat, the taste making me gag and cough. Keisuke abandoned his clutching hold on my neck, his fingers trailing over my skin with surprising gentleness before grasping my jaw instead, the pressure of his grip making my bones groan painfully. Straining to distance myself from him, I failed to push him away, unable even to turn my cheek when his tongue grazed across my lips and attempted to force its way into my mouth. Displeased, he shoved one knee violently between my thighs and into my crotch, causing me to gasp and cry out pitifully, several tears escaping and leaving salty remnants behind to stain my cheeks.

"I'm going to kiss you, Akira," Keisuke hissed angrily, "and you are going kiss me back. If you bite me, there will be consequences."

My eyes widened momentarily before snapping shut in retaliation, flinching obviously when our lips crashed together, his tongue forcefully entering my mouth and tying knots with my own. Reluctantly, I began to reciprocate the kiss, struggling against my repulsion as he deepened the contact.

"Even your blood tastes sweet," Keisuke hummed happily, his tone making me wince.

Suddenly, I felt him tense and grow still as his weight collapsed even more heavily against me, his muscles beginning to twitch slightly while a strangled choking noise rose in his throat. "Keisuke?" I questioned fearfully, worry overwhelming me despite his abuse and the violence of his unwanted ministrations. "Keisuke, what's happening? Keisuke, answer me." Panicking, I shoved him from above me as he arched against my prone form, convulsing in pain and crying out desperately, any coherent speech that he gurgled quickly becoming a mess of jumbled slurs and groans. My instincts urged me to scramble away, but I wanted to help him, regardless of my ignorance concerning the cause of his affliction. Yet after several more moments of his thrashing, he grew still, all movement ceasing entirely.

I crawled to him cautiously, disregarding the fact that my hands and jeans were growing wet from the grimy puddles of residual rainwater that dotted the asphalt of the street, and shook his shoulder, praying to some god that I didn't believe in for Keisuke to wake up. Though he did not respond, I was surprised to feel the rapid, but horribly weak breaths that passed through his lips as I laid my fingers against them lightly. My tears began to flow freely now as I rested my head against his chest, straining to hear the feeble pulse that still beat there while I struggled to determine the best course of action. I hated that I had been sapped of my strength when my changed companion closed his fist around my throat, fully intent on smothering out my life-force while wearing that sadistic grin, an expression that didn't suit the innocence of his face or the kindness in his honey eyes. And now I felt so frail, my muscles sore and my legs trembling, the weakness he caused me making it nearly impossible to rally my body and save him from both the drugs and himself.

"Keisuke… wake up. Keisuke…?"

We sat in near silence for several minutes, the only sounds fracturing the quiet being my choking, poorly suppressed cries and Keisuke's frantic panting; even the relentless din of Toshima seemed to hush in reflection. Maybe it was merely mocking me, enhancing the echoes of my worthless sobs in an effort to reprimand my weakness through taunts and humiliation. Knowing the dynamics of this hell hole, I wouldn't be surprised if even the inanimate objects around me – the crumbling buildings, the teetering tin trashcans, the moaning wind that scratched and squeezed between alleys – were all intentionally tormenting my uselessness as well. Even soulless items managed to be heartless here.

A familiar imposing presence appeared behind me, gently grasping my shoulders and pulling me away, tugging me into a snug embrace pressed against a remarkably thin frame. "Nano?" I asked quietly, not bothering to open my eyes as tears continued to drip down my face, "He's almost dead and I need help, Keisuke needs help." His neutral hum was the only response that I received, the chill of his body and strength of his arms oddly soothing as my consciousness began to waver and eventually fade, for what reason I could not identify. Nano's voice reached my ears, but his standard inflectionless tone sounded warped and even more distant than the vacant frigidity of his gaze.

"Akira…? Akira?"

When I awoke, I found myself trapped between the curious sensations of being both wonderfully comfortable and horribly uncomfortable at the same time, but I didn't conclude that the feeling was unpleasant; it was merely… strange. Nuzzling my cheek against the soft tickle of the cloth below me was partly ruined by the firmness of the object over which the fabric was stretched, and the discovery made me pout as I pried open my eyes. Before the blurriness could fade, a light touch on my head made me start, but the gentle stroking of delicate fingers through my mess of grey hair soothed me instantly.

"Nano."

"You're awake," he replied distantly as I glanced up to meet his stare, finding that I was sprawled atop him, snuggled against his chest as he laid on the same couch that I had woken up on earlier that day. As I acknowledged my surroundings, my senses became acutely aware of the scent of worn pages, the monotony of Nano's breaths, the chill of both the air, and feeling of his pale flesh as it pressed against my own. I became vaguely aware of the nagging uneasiness that suggested that I had forgotten something of great importance, but my mind struggled and fumbled to recall earlier events.

"Keisuke?!"

Nano pulled me back down against his body when I tried to scramble free, and I let his hands coax me into resting when a nauseating onset of vertigo twisted my thoughts and sense of direction. "He will be alright. His body is fighting the toxins in his blood."

"What happened to him? Why did he collapse like that?" I questioned pitifully, my eyelids growing exceptionally heavy.

"The Line he took reacted with the neutralizers in your body that combat the Nicole virus."

Flicking my gaze up to meet his own distant, icy eyes, I could have sworn that the slight flare of purple that tinted his irises was accompanied by some awkwardly displayed emotion. "How do you know so much?" The stoic man made no effort to respond to my inquiry, only nuzzling into my hair in silence, the grey strands stark and eerie against the paleness of his skin, which was untainted by even the slightest glow of blush or liveliness. "Tell me, Nano. Please?"

He sighed, showing a slight exhibition of exasperation and reluctance. "Project Nicole."

"What?"

"A project in the CFC to develop a virus which would enhance the performance of soldiers during the Third Divide. The Nicole virus, it was called. Line is the product of these experiments, and is now widely distributed in Toshima," a bizarre expression glinted in his eyes, something that vaguely resembled regret. "You were raised in an orphanage, yes?"

I nodded curiously and waited for him to continue. "It was one of several that was using orphaned children in testing related to Project Nicole. That is the reason that we met before, and also why you have very little recollection of your childhood."

I felt as if a stone had been dropped on my chest, like my sternum and ribs and lungs were all collapsing in upon themselves under the weight of the memories that flooded my mind after comprehending Nano's words. The knowledge he gave me seemed to break a dam somewhere in my consciousness, recollections of a life that had been so obscure in the past blaring brightly as if released from some suppressive spell. My eyes flew wide and I gasped for air as my fists curled tightly into the soft fabric of the sweater covering his chest, my arms trying and failing to push my body upright. I could have sworn that I was drowning in some body of water that had materialized out of the nothingness, but the physical sensation was only spurred into existence by the sudden overwhelming surge of remembrance as long-forgotten events rapidly heaved to the forefront of my cognizance.

"Holy shit," I panted as I collapsed once again atop Nano's surprisingly solid frame, my fisted hands turning my knuckles white with exertion and my face flushing a brilliant red, "I remember. So much… so many things. _Everything._ About Keisuke and me. About _you._ "

He pulled me against him and petted my hair as he attempted, albeit awkwardly and largely ineffectively, to comfort me, as if trying to repent for the painful reaction that his words had inspired. While he seemed tense and melancholy, I graciously accepted the affection he offered, curling into the soothing chilliness of his body as I closed my eyes and nuzzled into him more deeply, straining to conceal the tremor that haunted my voice. "If only I had done it… if only I had grabbed your hand and run away all those years ago. I didn't know why I felt like it was important, but I knew that I _needed_ to take you away from that place. Maybe none of this would have happened… I'm sorry. Nano, I…."

"'Often one feels with his whole being that right now he can or cannot do such-and-such an action; but as soon as he does it, this action, committed at a certain moment in time, becomes irreversible, and makes itself the property of history, in which it has not a free but a predestined significance.' Leo Tolstoy, _War and Peace_ ," he replied blandly, addressing me with his gaze. "I suppose this applies to actions one neglects to perform as well."

I felt myself wilt slightly beneath his vacant stare, remarking to myself that it was incredible that an expression so completely devoid of emotion and inspire such powerful emotions once it is turned on others. While the monotone of his voice and empty void in his eyes seemed to depict the ultimate, most pristine example of indifference, the nonchalance of it all made me feel as if I was being scolded like a child; a child who was desperate for attention, and was thereby deeply hurt by such vacancy and neglect.

"This was predestined, Akira. Do not feel regret for the things that you felt should have been done that were not, because it was decided long ago that you would not do them. This present was composed far in the past, and cannot be altered. It is irrefutable."

"You're wrong!" I interjected loudly, disturbing once again the breaths that had begun to resume a steady rhythm, causing me to pant, "Nano, you're wrong…."

He arched a pale eyebrow slightly as the same mesmerizing shade of violet flashed in the icy depths of his crystalline eyes, making me gasp slightly. I had never seen the phenomena occur so intensely and with our closeness being so intimate; the vague manifestation, which I had largely dismissed as illusion was, in fact, perfectly realistic and horribly enthralling. Failing to continue my argument, the tangible mirage of emotion which temporarily flooded his gaze captivated me so intensely that I merely leaned up, connecting our lips roughly. Though Nano tensed momentarily, he soon reciprocated, his slender hands trailing up my spine and to my shoulders from their original resting places before gingerly grasping my face. My moan was shameful as he tangled his fingers tightly into the wild grey strands on the back of my skull and nape, pulling me desperately closer, but I was too engrossed in the sensation of his body against mine to feel embarrassment.

Our tongues began to tangle enthusiastically and I rose to straddle his hips, the tautness of his pants becoming excessively arousing as I ground myself against him, both of us beginning to moan with abandon. Nano's fingers kneaded into my thighs, our lips remaining passionately connected as his hands forsake their task, gliding up my sides and tugging on the zipper of my coat painfully slowly. In my impatience my senses seemed simultaneously blunted and heightened, as if I could hear each tooth of the fastener unlocking from its counterpart casually, taunting and punishing me for my edginess. Soon I sat up and ground my teeth with irritation, slapping his hands away and tearing the zipper open myself, quickly shrugging free of the oppressive garment before attacking his lips again, biting him roughly.

I groaned into our kiss when one of his hands slipped beneath my jeans, stroking my entrance teasingly, and because of the pleasurable sensation I scarcely had the mental faculties to determine when exactly Nano had unbuttoned my pants. However, I didn't care as I slightly rocked my hips back against his digits, silently begging for him to continue with the somewhat painful intrusion, knowing that the ache would quickly dissolve into pleasure. He obliged willingly, pressing a single finger into me as I moaned and shuddered; I could tell that he was trying his best to be gentle this time and I appreciated the sentiment. But now I had not the patience for gentleness if he was going to move this slowly, so I encouraged him by thrusting and rolling my hips sensually, increasing the pace.

He seemed to acknowledge the action, as soon we were both entirely rid of our clothes as I leaned back on the leather sofa, Nano kneeling on the floor before me with my legs draped over his shoulders. As he took my entire length into his mouth, I whimpered faintly and tensed at the sensation, his tongue feeling infinitely more nimble coiling around my arousal than it did when tasting the depth of our kisses. After teasing me for several moments, the pale man allowed his tongue to drift lower, lashing at my entrance and coaxing from my lips a shaky sigh, my fingers curling tightly into his light hair. While the touch was foreign, it was immensely pleasurable to feel his mouth moving so delicately against such an intimate part of me, and any embarrassment I had at being so exposed was dissipating with each soft lick and thrust. I wanted to argue when his tongue was replaced by two fingers, but as they curled inside me and were drug over my prostate firmly, my protests were silenced by my own airy cry of pleasure. Still, it was unsettling when I regained my composure long enough to cast a glance down at the man who was so easily manipulating my body, only to find his expression stoic and unroused. Generally, after drawing forth such a dramatic reaction, a lover would look victorious or at least further aroused, but Nano's countenance remained indifferent. These musings only distracted me momentarily as his ministrations continued relentlessly, making me arch and moan wantonly at his every movement and touch.

I was startled from my blissful stupor when he pulled me from the seat to straddle his thighs as he knelt on the luscious Oriental rug, our lips fusing in a needy but tender kiss when I lowered myself onto his length. The feeling of my thighs touching his was insanely comforting, the wincing twitches of my body as it retaliated against the painful intrusion slowly fading. Resting my forehead at the base of his slender neck and grasping his lightly muscled shoulders, I attempted to compose myself, reining in the wildness of my breathing and the tears that dotted the corners of my eyes. His arms wrapped around my waist carefully and he placed kisses in my hair and on my temple, encouraging me to relax and rock against him in slow, steady thrusts. One of his gentle shifts caused him to graze the knot of pleasure inside me, making me groan and shake, my body arching against his as I sank my teeth into the chilly flesh pulled taut over his slight yet powerful frame. My lips struggled to form his name between heavy breaths when I began to rise and fall on his length, the quaking exhales I received in reply sounding delicious and erotic as we moved against each other urgently.

"Fuck me, Nano," I hissed into his ear when my thighs began to tremble and ache with exertion, effectively surrendering my body to him entirely. That enticing, vivid purple flashed in his eyes for a fleeting instant at the sound of my command, and he followed my order willingly, holding me to his chest as he laid my back on the floor, never removing himself from me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he began to thrust into me again, his lips exploring my chest and the fine rug below me scratching lightly against the skin of my back.

Nano's constant assault on the tangle of nerves within me started to weaken my composure even further, reducing me to a mess of moans and sloppy kisses and heavy eyelids. The sensuality of his expression as he neared his climax was angelic; his parted lips and lust-tainted icy blue eyes making me shudder and approach my own orgasm even more rapidly. I guided his hand in stroking me, shivering beneath him as I savored the sensation of his fingers grasping my arousal, while simultaneously moving in the exact way that I found to be the most pleasurable. He came just after I did, our heated bodies collapsing together as our lips met in messy afterthoughts of kisses, my arms curling around his neck and shoulders as I held him flush against my chest. Placing heavy, affectionate kisses at his jaw and below his ear, I hummed my satisfaction against pale flesh that had finally risen above the temperature of ice, the pleasant warmth lulling me into comfortable sleep.

My consciousness was fading yet again as I felt myself being lifted and carefully re-dressed, before once again sensing the plush chilliness of the leather couch beneath my frame. A lithe hand brushed my grey fringe from my face, and I could feel Nano's vacant gaze assessing me analytically as he pulled away, his nearly-silent footsteps fading into true, resolute, resounding quiet. I finally allowed my eyes to flutter fully shut and welcomed sleep, murmuring nonsensical ramblings to myself softly as restful darkness consumed me.


	3. Final Hindrance

Something unidentifiable startled me into wakefulness, and my gaze danced frantically around the library where I had awakened yet again. Scrambling to my feet clumsily, I yanked on my coat as I stumbled to kneel beside the trembling, unconscious form of Keisuke, whose condition seemed to be improving despite his pitiful appearance. His forehead was still warm with a fever as I laid my hand against it tenderly, the sweat of his brow dampening my palm slightly; but I was satisfied to find that his temperature had lowered considerably since the night before. Sighing, some of the tension in my body faded and I sat back on my heels, rubbing my tired eyes with a dramatic, weary groan.

"What have I done to you, Keisuke? You could be safe at home if it wasn't for me."

My eyes widened with hopeful excitement when I heard his breaths catch slightly in a gasp, but I wilted slightly when the moment passed and he resumed his pained, frantic panting. Though I was now slightly comforted that Keisuke was alive, albeit in horrible condition, something ominous seemed to be hovering in the air above my head, and I was immensely infuriated by my inability to define it. Rising to my feet silently, I brushed several strands on Keisuke's hair away from the honey-tinted eyes that I wished so desperately would open, and I turned to leave the library, certain that he would remain safe there.

The Toshima sky was its usual unfortunate, sickly grey-green hue, the thickness of the cloud cover refusing to hint at the time, indifferently suggesting that the hour lie sometime between dawn and dark. I stood blankly in the middle of the street, entirely unsure of my purpose for leaving Keisuke alone, but the meager scent of fresh blood on the air urged me to turn right and break into a jog. The stench of the nauseating smell grew more potent as I continued with a rising pace, and the peculiar uneasiness in the atmosphere indicated that I was growing nearer the source. Though my reluctance began to grow, some unidentifiable force persistently tugged me in that direction, as if I was a puppet on wires.

Sounds floated to my ears upon the restless surges of the wind, and a familiar voice raised in a frantic, aggravated tone drew my attention. "Emma?"

Glancing around a corner to my left, I saw Nano's back as he stood facing a one-armed woman in a familiar red coat, a man's bloody, lifeless body laying prone at her feet. I stepped closer cautiously, remaining largely behind Nano as I willfully intruded on the conversation; a conversation that I vaguely felt that I should be present for, as if it pertained to me somehow.

"Hello, Akira," Emma's voice sang in a malicious tone that was poorly concealed as cheerfulness. "We were just talking about you."

"Is that Gwen?" I questioned warily, "Did you shoot him?"

"Ah, yes. He was becoming a hindrance and interfering with our mission. And you performed spectacularly, Akira, whether you realize it or not."

My brows furrowed in confusion at her statement. I had been sent to Toshima to find and defeat Il-Re, and I had failed thus far. I scarcely had any idea as to who he was, meaning that it was obviously impossible to kill a man that I was sure was a ghost. "I… What? What's going on? Il-Re is still alive, I haven't found him."

"You fool," she spat at me in irritation, "there is no way for you to defeat Il-Re, he is far too powerful for you to handle on your own. We wanted you to bring us Nano, and you did."

"Nano?" I questioned, tossing a worried glance towards the pale man by my side, who said nothing, only maintaining a level, vacant gaze that was fixed on Emma.

"Yes, Il-Re was secondary," the woman informed me plainly. "We knew that you would draw out Nano, our main target, and that Nano would draw out our secondary target. Isn't that right, Il-Re?"

Emma gazed directly past me with an odd smirk painted on her face, and I could feel a malicious, oppressive presence swelling behind me like a wave, but I dared not turn around to see it. Finally, I succumbed to my fearful curiosity and glanced over my shoulder, my eyes focusing on a tall man dressed in black, a katana in his hand as he approached us with casual, measured steps and hauntingly focused scarlet eyes. He was harrowing and oddly beautiful, and despite the confusion that had been muddying my thoughts since my arrival on the scene, I recognized the specter immediately.

"Shiki? You're…?"

Shiki smirked at my realization, but ignored both my and Emma's presence as he addressed the vacant man who stood unmoving beside me. "Nano."

Though Nano made no effort to reply, I thought I saw the vivid purple that so entranced me flash into his blank stare before he lowered his gaze, slowly turning to face the raven-haired man who had called out to him. "Are you still so fearful of your own weakness that you still pursue me?" he finally queried at length. Shiki scoffed angrily and narrowed his crimson glare as he shifted his grip on the hilt of his katana, preparing his stance for combat; yet before he could make a move of his own, Nano was standing with him chest-to-chest, a pale throat encircled by an even paler hand. "You wish to prove to yourself that you are strong. I will prove to you that you are weak."

"'Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death'. But you do not fear death, do you? Only the prospect of dying as a result of the weakness you are convinced that you have conquered. If you kill me, you will not be satisfied. If I kill you, you will not be satisfied," Nano paused with a sigh as Shiki struggled against him, scarlet eyes widening slightly in poorly concealed panic. "However, if we both die, you will be meeting your demise as you defeat the man who is the root of your fear. And you will die believing that you have become victorious over your weakness. Am I not correct?"

"You're a monster," Shiki spat, "but I'm not afraid of you. I don't need vile power like yours to be strong. I can kill you with my strength alone."

"You are weak and afraid; and you always will be."

"You're wrong. It was a mistake to let me live, bastard, because you spared the life of your own executioner," Il-Re's crimson eyes narrowed with gleaming satisfaction as he spoke.

Nano tightened his grip on the dark-haired man's jugular, "Oh? 'It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong.' So tell me, which of us is mistaken? And which of us is wrong?"

Shiki gasped slightly as his eyes widened yet again, the delicate glittering of fear that was harbored deeply within those crimson orbs rose quickly to the surface, but he suppressed it as anger flared across his features. "You…."

"This is convenient," Emma chimed with a devious grin, and I turned to face her, apparently the only person among us who was still wary of her presence. "Targets one and two can kill each other on their own, and I can eliminate number three."

My eyes widened as she leveled her revolver at me with a steady hand, her smirk as unnerving as the knowledge that I was gazing directly into the metal sights of the weapon that would end my life. And as I swallowed thickly, fully aware that the time wasted on making a decision regarding whether it would be best to accept my fate or flee was only inching me closer to my demise, I thought of Keisuke. The day before I had been worried that _he_ would die before I could spill my pathetic apologies and lay the truth at his feet; but now I was certain that _my_ death would be the one that kept him from knowing everything. The thought was crushing, and it made my heart pound faster than the adrenaline in my veins ever could; the thought that I would end up failing Keisuke after all that I'd been through to help him – all that we'd been through. I no longer cared if he forgave me or not, as long as he could be happy again, even if I let him kill me. My only regret upon my death would be that dying by Emma's hand could possibly prevent Keisuke the satisfaction of doing it himself.

Inhaling deeply and shutting my eyes, I awaited the sound of a bullet as it cracked viciously through the sound barrier, hurdling at me with unstoppable certainty as it personally delivered my death notice. The sound made me flinch when it finally met my ears, yet I felt no sting of agony. I pondered if this was how it felt to meet your demise via a bullet to the head – painless and indifferent, merely transferring from life to death in a seemingly harmless instant. Curiously, I could still feel my heart pounding heavily in my chest, and dreaded the implication that the physical condition of your body at the moment your life was stolen away would be the way it remained for eternity. Such frantic, unfortunate musings made me slightly ill and I stumbled awkwardly, my eyes flying open when I felt the shooting ache of my hands and knees striking damp asphalt.

"Keisuke?"

"Are you alright, Akira?" he called over his shoulder as he stood calmly before Emma, his familiar smile pulling at the corners of honey eyes that no longer held any madness.

"Shit… I'm dead," I stuttered, struggling to comprehend my situation. "But you're talking to me…. Shit! Are you dead too, Keisuke?! Did I kill you?!"

"Akira?" he questioned with a befuddled expression as I began to hyperventilate, thoroughly disappointed that horrid, heart-wrenching emotions and fear felt as genuine in death as they did in life. I could hear Keisuke call to me again as he stepped away from Emma, her limp body falling ungracefully into a puddle at his feet, the asphalt promptly becoming stained with copious amounts of the woman's blood. My friend took cautious steps towards me before kneeling in front of me calmly, his kind eyes tinted heavily with sadness and confusion as he raised one hand to my cheek, the other saturated wholly in gore. "We're both alive, Akira. Please calm down, it's alright."

"No… I killed you," I began, my words suddenly no longer making any sense to my panicked mind. "I killed you, but… you killed Emma? Shiki is Il-Re. And Shiki and Nano killed each other…. Nano. Nano?!"

Keisuke grasped my face strongly with both hands as I began to glance about the street wildly, and I was vaguely aware of the way Emma's blood smeared over my cheeks as I fought against Keisuke's grip. "Calm down," the brunet cooed as he nodded towards some ambiguous locale behind me, "he's right there. See? Nano is right there."

"Akira."

The comforting sound of my name spoken in such a distant, clinical tone soothed my nerves dramatically as I heard Nano's nearly imperceptible footsteps approach me from behind, and I glanced over my shoulder so as my eyes could fall on him. I shuddered slightly when my suspicions were wholly put to rest, finally convincing my irrational mind that neither Keisuke nor Nano were dead, and that I was still alive to be with them.

"Wait, Keisuke?" I queried suddenly, "How did you know where we were?"

"Your scent," he chimed with a smile, tapping the side of his nose with his index finger, "I can still use the power of Line, but the side effects are gone. So I could find you, Akira."

I heard Nano stir slightly and Keisuke's attention was drawn to some presence that he glimpsed over my right shoulder, and I was held still when I attempted to turn around to see for myself what had captivated them both. Jerking away from my friend's grip, my gaze fell upon a bloodied body clad in black laying sprawled inelegantly over the asphalt as the sky finally began to release its reluctant tears. I could only spare a moment to acknowledge the fact that Shiki – Il-Re – was dead, as soon after a wall of inky ebony forms began to close upon us tightly, forcing Keisuke, Nano, and me to huddle together as we prepared a defense. The piercing red lasers of their rifle sights settled steadily on our foreheads, and though I recoiled only slightly, my companions stood quietly beside me.

"Did Emma send you?" I asked no one in particular.

"Akira…" Keisuke hissed lowly, an unfamiliar and harrowing intensity pouring into his words, "When I tell you to go, you have to run. I'll find you later." I began to argue, but I swallowed my words when the brunet glanced urgently towards Nano, who seemed to stare so casually at the soldiers who imprisoned us, his expression indifferent and his posture feeble. "Just do as I say. Please, Akira. And if he decides to fight… you need to be far away from here, do you understand?"

I furrowed my brows reluctantly before casting concerned glances at them both before agreeing, my hand absently clasping Nano's by no intentional direction of myself as the soldiers tightened their defenses. Though he said nothing, his eyes lowered to mine slightly without even turning his head, and the flash of vivid violet that disrupted the icy blue stoicism of his stare was immensely comforting. "Okay…" I finally succumbed to Keisuke's plea.

Watching the expression of the fair-haired man beside me, I imagined that he would manage to perform exactly as the military had always hoped he would – slaughtering mercilessly without the slightest flicker of emotion or remorse. I struggled with my heart for several moments, unsure if I desired to observe for myself what Nano was truly capable of. Perhaps, I mused, it would be best not to see the efficiency of the weapon that all three of us had suffered in order to create. Regardless, I agreed to obey Keisuke's instructions, and I had every intention of doing so; but maybe I was so willing to comply merely so that I wouldn't have to make the decision to watch or turn away on my own. Yet the possibility of surrendering my free choice and succumbing to the strings of fate and predetermined realities seemed far too much like admitting defeat to Nano and his ridiculous ideologies. Instead, I steeled my nerves and decided that I would watch the fight after finding a safe location from which to do so, thereby satisfying both myself and the requests of my companion.

Nano must have sensed my eyes upon him as he subtly returned the clutch that I had on his hand, his slender fingers curling around mine loosely as he spoke. "'I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself.' Leo Tolstoy. _War and Peace._ "

A feeble grin tugged at the corners of my lips, "We will. So don't die."

"Akira, go!" Keisuke shouted as he shoved me away, roughly jostling me from my own thoughts and causing me to stumble awkwardly as I ran, cringing as the sound of gunfire echoed viciously between the cloistered buildings. I tore around a corner and into an alley, my sneakers slipping slightly on the grit of the dampening asphalt as my surroundings and myself were pummeled with increasingly heavy drops of rain. By the time I managed to glance around the corner, the expanse of the street was nearly cloaked in an eerie silence, and only two figures remained standing amongst a sporadic scattering of bodies in black.

Awed, I stepped cautiously back into the open space and approached the two with timid steps, staring at the soldiers who suffered defeat at the hands on their own military's ultimate weapon. It was harrowing, the efficiency and speed with which they were able to take a life, and I was struck by the way that Keisuke still managed to look so innocent and welcoming even when painted with blood not his own. Nano remained as distant and lifeless as I predicted, the emotionless puppet of a man standing silently among the collection of numerous names that had been effortlessly added to his list of casualties.

"We need to leave, Akira…." Keisuke called to me as he jogged in my direction, freezing suddenly before clutching onto me and falling heavily atop me as we hit the ground. The echo of a stray gunshot was ringing in my ears amongst the brunet's miniscule coughs and groans, and I could feel a curiously wet warmth spreading beneath my fingers as my hand lay against his back. A pained shriek drifted from the direction of the rifle fire, and I assumed that Nano had disposed of the remaining survivor of the military's suicidal escapade.

"Keisuke?" Confused as to the events of the previous several moments and receiving no response, I jostled his prone form roughly before raising my hand into my line of sight. "What…blood? Keisuke? Hey, Keisuke?! Keisuke, are you okay?! Talk to me, please!" My shouts and pleas scrambled into wild ramblings and encroaching sobs as I struggled from beneath him, cringing at the sight of the crimson puddle as it expanded casually across his white shirt. I shoved him onto his back, shaking him desperately as I placed my ear against his chest, the feeble coughs and breaths that he strained to maintain as he clutched weakly to life making me grimace, tears flowing freely.

"I wanted to help you, Akira," he choked quietly, his voice raspy and gurgling, "because I loved you so much. But… I'm not worried… not at all…."

"Keisuke, please stop talking, okay? I'll get you help, you'll be alright."

I winced and recoiled as he sputtered a weak chuckle, a sly grin fighting past his agony to tug lightly at the edges of his lips. "Now who's being foolish and idealistic? That's... my job, remember?"

"Shut up! Keisuke, shut up! You're making it worse, be quiet!" my words dissolved pitifully into sobs as the rain struck the back of my skull violently, causing my surging, emotion-induced migraine to throb painfully. "Just be quiet… okay?"

"Akira, I'm not worried… I think he'll do a better job… of protecting you… than I did. I loved you… I still do… but less than he does."

I began to panic as his warm, honey-tinted eyes began to darken and flutter closed weakly, the bloodless pallor of his flesh becoming enhanced dramatically under the assault of icy raindrops. "No, no, no, Keisuke. You can have another chance! It'll be okay and we can go home… we can all go home."

After several moments of fruitless begging, my mind finally coaxed my tongue into silence, knowing that none of my words could reach him anymore. That Keisuke was gone. I surrendered my restraint to some unknown force, admitting defeat as I allowed tears to surge unabashedly from my eyes and fall to the brunet's motionless chest, the salty drops instantly becoming indistinguishable from among the tears of the mourning Toshima sky. It was only right that everything on this miserable planet weep for the loss of someone like Keisuke; he was my best – my _only_ – friend, cheerful and obnoxiously optimistic, one of the few people in existence who were capable of seeing the good in what's left of the world. Even capable of seeing the good in someone like me, who unknowingly treated him so cruelly simply because of my indifference and belief that he was a pest. The clouds above were right to mourn him, especially in the heartless hell of Toshima.

"Why do you weep for him? This reality is merely an unavoidable occurrence in a predetermined series of events. No action could have prevented his demise."

"You…." I hissed in the direction of the frigid, clinical voice, my teary glare falling upon Nano heavily, but eliciting no response. "How can you say that?! He's dead! Keisuke is dead and it's my fault!"

"'His rut had long been carved out for him and determined from all eternity'."

"Nano!" His attention seemed to focus slightly when I called his name angrily, and his vacant gaze settled on me with an odd expression glinting in his eyes. "Do you not think that people can change their circumstances?! You must think so, otherwise you wouldn't have said that to me earlier! 'I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself.' You said that! You must know that you have a chance to change your destiny!"

"Akira…."

"You know you do! Destiny is only what carries you along when you are too afraid to make your own decisions! Don't you see?!"

"No. Free will does not exist."

"'You say: I am not free. But I have raised and lowered my arm. Everyone understands that this illogical answer is an irrefutable proof of freedom.'" I shouted in retaliation, and the area around us seemed to grow exceptionally silent, as if the atmosphere was as awed as I was at the expression of shock pasted on Nano's refined features.

"Tolstoy…?" Oddly, he struggled with his voice when he replied, a torrent of awkwardly displayed emotions fighting to make their presence known after many painful years of forceful suppression. It seemed that Nano and I both believed that all sense of feeling and emotion had been stripped away from him many years ago, but now it appeared that they had merely been vehemently walled away within a stony heart. Suddenly the mortar of that dam began to fracture, and the soulless puppet of a man that stood before me was quickly drowning in the violent onslaught of his long-forgotten humanity.

Disoriented, he staggered slightly and I rushed to catch him. Smiling weakly, I gave him a miniscule nod of confirmation. " _War and Peace,_ 1869."

I caught another brief glimpse of the vibrant purple hue when it flashed in his closing eyes, and I was rattled from my stupor when Nano turned and sighed heavily, moving to kneel and carefully lift Keisuke from the ground. He regained his standard, rigidly erect posture as he carried the lifeless body beneath an awning and deposited it gingerly on the concrete. As I watched, I cringed at the apparent iciness of my friend's corpse, wondering how it could be possible for someone who was so warm to appear so cold.

Soon Nano silently returned to my side and led me away from the grim place, weaving through alleys and buildings until we reached an area near the western border. He coaxed me into the shelter of what I assumed was once a hotel, much like the one in the Neutral Zone, and rid me of my clothes, insisting that we dry ourselves and rest before making our escape.

As his chilly, slender fingers peeled away my sopping, rain-drenched clothes and tossed them to the side, I shivered as the open air struck my clammy skin, ugly purple splotches rising to the surface of my pale flesh in retaliation. My pitiful condition was profound enough to draw Nano's attention, as I sensed the movements of his hands slowing while he stared at my undoubtedly blue lips.

"You're cold," he stated flatly, indifferent to my irritated glare. I wanted to swear at him and remind him that he was cold as well, but the words died on the tip of my tongue when I assessed him closely, noticing that he seemed to be unaffected by the icy air. Suddenly he pulled my naked form against him aggressively, wrapping his arms around my back as I struggled against him, shoving away his grasp and the blush on my cheeks.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Warming you. Transference of body heat is the most effective way to prevent hypothermia."

"No no no," I insisted as I attempted, and utterly failed, to escape from his surprisingly resolute grip. Even after witnessing the true, horrific power that this man possessed, the strength that hid within his feeble, sinewy frame still managed to astound me, the disconnect between his appearance and physical prowess unnerving. "I'm fine, so let go! How can someone who's cold as ice warm up someone else?!"

Persistently, Nano continued to hold me firmly within his arms and eventually I ceased my struggling, thoroughly astounded when I felt a peculiar heat flowing into me through the connection of our skin. It reminded me of the first time that we touched, when he laid his hand against my cheek, allowing an indescribable surge of countless emotions to pulse deeply into my being and saturate my heart with frigid despair. That sensation was haunting and humbling in the most depressing of ways, yet the unity that I felt when in contact with Nano was pleasantly electric despite its sorrowful feature. The duality of feeling lonely because of one's connection with another person seemed to mirror Nano's existence spectacularly – he always seemed so contradictory in everything he did.

And though I was drowning in that bizarre disparity as I sank against his form, there was no despair in our connection now; rather, we exchanged subtle currents of hopefulness through each simple touch. For once Nano was warm, and his heat permeated me and scorched me to my core as it set my body and soul alight with a pleasantly uncomfortable flame – and I quickly discovered, to my surprise, that I wanted to burn like a witch at the stake.

Scarcely thinking, I pulled him to me, pressing my lips against his urgently, the passion between us rising exponentially as his tongue began to tie sensual knots around mine. It seemed as if I was being electrocuted with every panting breath and gasp, each grazing of teeth against my lips making me jolt against him and moan pitifully like a virgin beneath his touches. Nano's hands moved skillfully over my naked body, tracing artful patterns between the subtle ridges of my abdominals and chest, as if trying to memorize my figure. His slender digits were still slightly icy as he continued his sensual cartography, the lean fingers drifting lower to tease my entrance tenderly.

I shuddered and sighed, letting my head fall back with lidded eyes as his tongue trailed along my jaw and his teeth assaulted the tender flesh just below my ear, the sensuality of his touch causing my fingers to curl into his shoulder harshly. The vibrations of his miniscule groans against my skin sent trembling arousal down my spine until it pooled hotly in my groin, my hips grinding against him in the searing heat of my impatience. One of my hands drifted between us to stroke both of our arousals in unison as I felt him press a finger into my entrance, and the weight of my weakening body poured into the kiss that we shared. Our lips were moving more slowly than before, much of the franticness abandoned for passion, and we melted together so ideally that the kiss seemed rehearsed in its synchronicity. Still, the deliciousness of Nano's occasional spontaneity startled me when his tongue barely grazed my own, distracting me until his free had surrounded mine wholly, stroking us both with more force.

I winced and groaned when another finger pressed into me, my forehead falling weakly into the lean valley between his slender neck and angular shoulder. "Nano… be gentle, but hurry, please. I need you. I need to forget, to drown in you as you touch me."

Nano's breath caught slightly, interrupting the monotony of his panting, lustful breaths and enticing him to pull me more snugly against his body. Weaving my hands into the lush volume of his light hair I pulled him to me carefully, placing kisses on the corners of his mouth and eyes, his cheek, his jaw, below his ear – but never on his lips. My taunting must have urged his desire a bit too effectively, as he removed his touches from me fully and shoved my chest to the wall. I could feel the tautness of his body and the heat of his arousal when he pressed himself against me, thrusting into me roughly and making me cry out in pained surprise, tears welling in my eyes as I heaved gasping breaths desperately.

"Nano?! Too rough!"

The pale man behind me froze instantaneously as he choked on a strange, concerned sigh. "Akira…."

I hushed him gently, grinding my hips back against his own and shuddering pleasantly when his arousal shifted slightly inside me, making me groan. "It's okay. Just go slow, I'm not leaving – I'm not going anywhere." Nano's muscles slackened noticeably when he released a heavy, relaxing sigh, nuzzling affectionately into my neck when I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair, scratching into his scalp gingerly. A low purr rumbled in his throat as he began to move, his hips jerking and thrusting himself inside me with easy strokes, the knot of nerves he assaulted making me tremble.

Bracing one hand atop mine and supporting himself against the wall, he allowed his other arm to wrap around my waist and hold my lean body against his snugly, the angle of his thrusts altering slightly in the most arousing way. My restraint was beginning to crumble into millions of unsalvageable pieces, the ever increasing fissures wearing away my composure bit by miniscule bit, like wind scraping and dulling a mountaintop. At last I finally determined that struggling against my lewd desire was naught more than a hindrance for my pleasure, and so I released myself willingly from its binds. Immediately, Nano struck that delectably tender spot inside of me and I moaned shamelessly, urging his pace to increase as he placed heavy, sloppy kisses sporadically along my shoulders.

"Nano… ngh," I mumbled lowly, gritting my teeth against the overwhelming erotic quality of it all, "I'm so… close."

His heavy exhale informed me that he was as well, and I guided his hand in stroking me to completion, his nimble fingers gripping my arousal delicately and trailing over the tip, causing my entire frame to tremble precariously. My release struck me with nearly unbearable force, and I felt as if I was a piece of frayed linen, the loose string binding me torn away roughly and causing me to unravel. The ecstasy lingered for what felt like eternity, making me weak and sore as Nano reached his orgasm shortly after myself, the apex of his pleasure coaxing a groan from his thin lips as I was filled with searing warmth.

"Akira…."

As he pulled himself free of my body, I fell heavily against the wall, the chilliness of the fracturing plaster a stark, but not unpleasant, contrast against the heated skin of my back. My chest was heaving when I clasped his cheeks aggressively, tugging him down to me and melding our lips together with sensual tenderness. The connection remained remarkably chaste and gentle, our tongues scarcely meeting, the flavor of his kisses nearly undetectable due to the fleeting nature of the touch.

Straightening his posture rigidly, Nano began to redress us both with meticulous tedium, and I scarcely noticed when his monotone voice spilled into the emptiness of the room. "We must leave."

"Yes," I responded plainly, "You want to live, right? To cause trouble for no one but yourself?"

"I do."

"You will. We will," I hummed against his lips softly. "But freedom is not given for free. We will have to be careful. Always."

"I do not wish to burden you, Akira."

"I have a choice. And I'm choosing to stay with you. Just as you have the choice to leave. Free will exists, Nano. Even in this moment it exists."

I could feel his brows furrow as I rested my forehead against his with a heavy sigh. "I… can choose? I choose… to stay. With you."

Nothing could dampen the sorrowful smile that tugged at my lips when I heard that eloquent struggle so badly as he spoke the words that I so desperately wanted to hear – words that I desired him to say so strongly that my chest ached. It was true that I had failed Keisuke, but maybe I could save Nano with this second chance that was bought for me at the steep cost of my dearest friend's life. I begged Keisuke to forgive me with every miniscule piece of my soul, hoping that he would understand and hoping that he knew the truth of it all, of all that I had not succeeded in telling him.

"You have a lot to learn again… about being human. About feelings and emotions."

"Then what is this?" Nano questioned, flattening his palm against his chest with a pained expression. "It aches, but it's warm as well."

"Love, Nano. It's called love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the very few of you who decided to read Hindrance and managed to make it this far! This story ended up being long as shit for only having three chapters…. Anyway, I really appreciate the wonderful people who read this, and I love reviews and requests. This was the product of a request, after all. Now go read Encounter if you haven't already! Do it!
> 
> Meadie out.


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